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Voices From The Hellmouth 4
from the more-comments dept.
"I can understand where a lot of people are coming from on this. I am a 'freak' and 'Goth'. I don't even know how I got the Goth label since I never wear black (I usually wear colorful outfits), don't like Marilyn Manson, and am an overall happy person. People seem to think I am weird because I listen to Bjork and like Linux. Also, people (wrestlers, so I don't give them much credit) think I'm going to blow up the school. Why, you might ask? Well, because I'm taking French, I dyed my hair and (here's the clincher) I have an unibrow! So now unibrow = unabomber. Everyone watch out for that extra hair, it could be the difference between normal and serial killer. Again, thanks for giving freaks a place to be heard."---J. (Original Comment #1)
"I am one of the misfits - a girl Geek, if there was such a person. I got abused horribly by the jocks like the guys did, but it was worse in some ways as a woman because of the sexual element. I never considered doing violence to my tormentors - although my desire to defeat them led me in a roundabout way to the study of the occult - where I learned instead to rule myself. (Yes, there is a good side to the occult, if you can past all the bs.) Now I understand how Jedi Mind Tricks really work, and when I have a run-in with a jock sort (they live in a time warp, growing potbellies and kids, but never truly maturing) I remember how weak-minded they are, and whop them with a bit of good old verbal and mental Aikido."---T.I. (Original Comment #2)
"For nearly two weeks now the search for meaning and the search for culprits in this terrible event has led to - Well, where it's led has depended on who you read. And I find that "interesting" to say the least. Read Salon, it's the gays who are being blamed. Read the W. Post and it's the Goths, the Marilyn Manson fans and the Hitler youth who get the blame. And let's not forget gun owners. Read Slashdot, and it's the Geeks who are blamed, except they are blaming the jocks. Yeah, right. Who's kidding whom? You hurt someone, you're part of the problem. You pull the trigger, you're a big part of the problem. You point fingers, you're part of the problem too. And that includes the Geeks here, who don't seem to notice that they're doing-unto-others exactly what they say is being done to them. Yes, this is one big mess and the e-mails Jon Katz has shown us all week are compelling. But I can't help but think that those of us who ever saw ourselves as outcasts have done it to ourselves."---J. (Original Comment #3)
"I'm sorry. Perhaps I should have tried harder to be the school prom King. Perhaps I just wanted to be called 'Fag' all the time. If only I could have just ignored my curiosity for the binary challenge, or my love for good art. Silly me to think that I didn't fit in with the people who kicked me in the hall and spit on my lunch and snapped me with their towels in the shower after P.E. Perhaps I should have referred to them as 'Your Highness' and all that humiliation would have gone away! Perhaps I shouldn't have ever opened a book at lunch time so it wouldn't get stolen. Of course I did it to myself! What an idiot I've been all these years to think that they didn't like me. If only I would have known that all that shit was their way of saying, "Hey bud, Let's be friends."---S.B. (Original Comment #4)
"The geeks here are merely expressing their opinions and relating stories of the abuse that they have had to suffer. I don't think you will find a single one of the people who have told their stories here going to school the next day and picking on the people that revile (and revile for good reasons I might add). Geeks are not doing unto others what has been done to them, they are merely speaking out against vicious, cruel and unfair treatment. As for outcasts making themselves outcasts, that is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard! Most of the people here would love to fit in and have friends. I know I would have when I was in high school. Unfortunately, I didn't have the money to always have new, cool clothes or a great car. I was also not athletic or attractive. I also was not willing to deny my interests and hide my intelligence. I knew smart people in high school who did that and it made me sick as well as making them miserable. The fact is that a lot of people out there don't have any choice about being different. And saying that it is their own fault that they are rejected for being poor or ugly or sickly or shy or intelligent is a bunch of crap. I never had the choice to be popular and have friends, because I was never given the choice. I did not try to be antisocial, and I was nice to everyone until they failed to be nice.
"Geeks everywhere need to contact their local media purveyor and tell their story. Make the voices of the outcast heard! Contact lawyers and sue every son of a bitch that says a damaging word against. It's time for the politically correct revolution to include Geek! Vertically challenged persons, color diverse persons, size-enhanced persons have all had their day. This must be the socially diverse revolution. Organize your local geek youth!"---A. (Original Comment #5)
"The Trenchcoat Mafia is about racism and I hope some jock beats the crap out of any kids who can relate to them. I hated high school and am a steadfast geek (and proud of it) but I bear no association to these vile children from Colorado."---A.K. (Original Comment #6)
"Although I didn't have a rough time at all in high school, I think I can appreciate some of the problems that occur to "oddballs". High school nor society is ready to handle "special cases". Our country isn't very long on tolerance. It was found by puritans after all. It is far easier to run a school like a prison than to maintain a place of independent thought. Even teachers are kept on a leash. It is also easier to fault "deviant" lifestyles, like Goths, Geeks, or Gamers, than to admit the utter failure of our school systems to engender social skills in our children. It is possible that parents need to do this themselves? Please, mom and dad are already working two full time jobs. In a fiercely capitalistic culture in which "greed is good", one's status increases by the number of people walked on. The outcasts deserved to be abused because they make the rest us feel uncomfortable, right? I saw VP Gore talking about how we need to reduce the amount of violence we expose our children to. He didn't mention NATO's "relief efforts" in Kosovo as one of those harmful influences. Clearly, real violence isn't as harmful to children as Doom. What these Colorado kids lost wasn't their minds. It was hope. It's a shame what happened in Littleton. It's worse that our country won't learn squat from it."---J. (Original Comment #7)
"I was not popular in school. Most of my teachers didn't care if I was harassed in class, and very few did anything about it. (Though there were 3 teachers that come to mind that really understood me, and cared enough to take action, sometimes when I wouldn't.) I was known as the punching bag of my class, be it verbal or physical, sometimes both. My talent in technology, my love for computers, and my somewhat different physical appearance (I'm much shorter than most people) all helped establish me as an outcast in school. Time after time I'd find myself in the assistant principal's office for getting into a fight, or some other "routine" issue I seemed to have. I didn't make very good grades in school, and it wasn't because I couldn't do the work, but I was lazy. Middle school and high school bored me. (Hell, even my college classes are getting old.) I think the main reason I did so poorly in school, was the fact that I didn't want to be there, for whatever reason, be it academic or socially. There were days I would absolutely dread going to class, because there were others in that room that felt it necessary to torment me day after day."
"The stereotypical view places this type of problem exclusive to high school. However it starts long before that. My estimate, based on my own experience, is that it starts somewhere around late 4th grade. The adults of my time would say "Kids can be cruel." The fact is, as time passes, the kids in school are getting much worse. Days would go by where I'd come home from school literally in tears, because from the bus trip to school, during the day, and the bus ride home, I was bombarded with crap from other people. Let me state right now, that I do NOT condone what these kids did, and for them to have taken that step, there had to be some mental issues at work. However, because of my own experiences in school, I can understand what kind of a view these kids took toward school. As an example, I was passing my old middle school while walking one day, and there was a group of PE kids playing basketball. One of the kids got hit with the ball, and quite clearly, shouted "YOU MOTHER F**CKING SON OF A BITCH!" Not being deaf to his language, I was still shocked to be hearing this from a middle schooler. Stop blaming the Internet, stop blaming games like Quake or Doom, and stop blaming the entertainment industry. These are not the factors that are shaping kids into killers. For one, it is obviously a sort of mental problem that these kids had. Thankfully, the majority of people like me are able to deal with these kinds of things without totally going over the edge like this, but there are some people that aren't equipped to deal with it. These are the types of people that need to be helped. This is not accomplished by rounding up all the 'unpopular' people and getting rid of them, either. And as I said earlier, kids in school are getting worse every year. Another factor seems to be the parents of these kids. A bomb on the dresser for God's sake!! WAKE UP PEOPLE! Take more responsibilty for what your kids are doing, and stop looking for a scapegoat when something goes wrong. Damn that was a long-ass rant."---P. (Original Comment #8)
"I agree with the general sentiment here at Slashdot, namely: Those who wonder where the blame lies, should turn their accusing fingers around to themselves. The Net is not to blame, Doom is not to blame. Marilyn Manson is certainly not to blame. Indeed, "wholesome family values" are more to blame than anything, specifically the intolerance that accompanies the conformity with said values. When I was a freshman, I got thrown down a flight of stairs by the star running back. He didn't think I should be smoking, and politely tossed me. He got detention. I had shoulder pain for three weeks. Nice. My advice: Avoid Mesquite, Texas at all costs. Oh yeah, and fuck the man. Be different. Somebody with more skill than me needs to come up with a clever fake headline and hack the NY Times or something." ---R. (Original Comment #9)
"Someone (I call not me!) should make a "wanted" poster that kids can post in their schools:
WANTED: Non-conformists for crimes yet to be committed! There are members of our community who are threatening the bland conformity that we have tried so hard to create! Please report anyone matching the following description to your superiors so that these individuals can be "corrected." Remember, opinions you don't agree with are wrong!Warning Signs:
- odd clothing
- liking for weird, therefore bad, music
- heavy Internet use
- high intelligence
- seeking out others with similar tastes
- zits
- dislike for classes, teachers
- reclusiveness
- anything else?"
---Y.W. (Original Comment #10)
"If you aren't a member of a culture, you can't judge its values. You probably don't understand it enough to label it in that way. But if you want to talk to people with lifestyles that glorify violence, forget the people that look different, start counseling the football players. I live in a college town, and from reading police reports in the paper, I'd say they could use it. Look at how many athletes are in legal trouble. The last time I caught sports on the radio (not something I make a point of trying to do), 75% of the stories were about which athletes had been charged with what. So why don't you start counseling the football players, and leave the guys and girls in the chess club alone?"
"There are any number of groups that have been considered by the public at large to have "unwholesome", "troublesome", even "satanic" views. In many cases, these were outright lies. Ask a Pagan or a Wiccan (yes, a witch, we all know they've gotten lots of bad PR). By your standards, if the public thinks these things to be true, then the public would be justified in seeking these people out and sending them to counseling, investigating them, etc. After all, the public has to single out people who they suspect may have problems. In my opinion, and I think many here would agree, but the distinction hasn't come up, people who look and act differently aren't automatically superior. People, who look and act as they want to look and act, and more importantly, think, as they want to think, are automatically superior. These are the people with imagination, creativity, and in most cases courage. (If you don't think it takes courage to be different when you know you are going to catch hell for it, you probably never had the courage to try it.) By the way, if someone truly is a natural athlete, and enjoys athletics, and that's who he really is, fine. Be yourself. Do what thou wilt. Just let the rest of us do the same. What good is expressing ones individual identity if everyone else thinks you are a freak, and treats you as such? What are you without it? I would rather be abused and mistreated and be me, than to be one of them (i.e. anyone but who I am). That is a choice I have made, and a price I have paid. I even tried it. I played sports for a year. Actually, that wasn't bad. Lost weight, got in shape, etc. But I quit because I didn't like the company I was keeping. Primarily because, in order to fit in, I had to be like them, and that included abusing others."
"So yes, most of us could fit in if we really tried. But most of us probably just don't consider it worth the price. We also don't consider you, or anyone else, qualified to judge the cultural value of our choices. We shouldn't be made to suffer because our choices are different from yours. And I think it's a pretty safe bet that there was less suffering, degradation, and humiliation going on in the schools, there'd also be less violence."---D.R. He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice." --Mark Twain (Original Comment #11)
"Einstein was "different". Socrates was "different". Jimi Hendrix was "different". Linus Torvalds is "different". (Grin) The problem with stereotyping the way people act with the way people look is that there will always be people who break the stereotype. What does conformity accomplish? If everything is the same - what changes - where do new trends come from - where do we evolve mentally and as a society? There should always be a conflict, someone rocking the boat and changing the norm. Stagnation accomplishes nothing. If it were not for being "different", new ideas would not be as plentiful. You can't single out "suspects" of who is going to strike next. It could be anyone, it could be an honors student who snapped because he didn't study for a test and failed it and ruined his GPA. It could be a kid who has mental problems. It could be teacher whose wife just left him. It could be a principal who just can't take it anymore. Looking for people because how they look is making the innocent out to be guilty. Last time I checked in the United States the law was "innocent until proven guilty". (I can't speak for other countries.")
"I see the weak point you are trying to make that if you dress differently then you should expect criticism. And I think the problem here is lack of respect.... if I dress differently why should you disrespect me? Because I am different from you? That is no reason to disrespect someone, that just causes more problems and separation. The attitude is not "people who look and act differently are superior" no one is claiming superiority, all anyone wants is equality. That's like saying defending women's liberation is being "anti-male and pro-female domination". We should have the right to express ourselves in any manner (which does not hurt others) and not be condemned for it. The attitude is not "we are better"; the attitude is "you are not any better/worse."---D. (Original Comment #12)
"Being different isn't a bad thing. It's all about your morals and your core values. And, it's not about societal norms; it's about a respect for others and a responsibility for your own actions. Somewhere in America, these are being corrupted. It's not the media's fault, it's not a computer's fault, nor is it online gaming, Dungeons and Dragons, or any other outside influence. People need to stop blaming society and take responsibility for raising their kids. And why doesn't anyone realize this starts out early? If you haven't instilled a set of values in someone by the time they reach high school, I'm sorry, but you're not going to do it then, no matter how much time and money you throw at it."---A.C. (Original Comment #13)
"I'm not going to go on and on about my own story, but some of it's really very similar. What I'm left wondering is...what has changed? Geez, I'm an old 35 year-old now, and it sounds like when I was in school. The only really big difference is that now there are guns there. Weren't any when I went." (Note: try going to school when you're a geeky, butch-looking, smart woman from a huge multiracial family living in a working class macho hell town. The jocks ruled. Very scary place. Yuck. No guns, just physical/sexual violence instead."---D.B. (Original Comment #14)
Counterpoint (Score:3)
I sort of disagree. My understanding of human nature is (obviously) radically different from that of most
But simply put, there are people who are, as an inborn trait, more conformist than other, and this is a OK thing. These people (who are a sizable percentage of the population) contribute some good and important things to society, arising out of the same traits which make them conformist: they're wonderful at defending and protecting people, ideas, and things (though you may have to work at it to get them aimed in the right dirrection); their very change resistance makes them a kind of fly-wheel on society, which protects us from precipitous govermental overthrow for trivial reasons; at their best they are hardworking, loyal, etc.
But they aren't creative, iconoclastic, daring, brilliant, etc. That's not their gift. Trying to make them so is as unjust as trying to make geeks to be conformist.
So we don't need to teach non-conformity to all our kids. That would be unfair to conformists. What we do need to teach our kids is to respect differences, and even more importantly, how to act respectful.
We need for conformists to be raised to think of their non-conformist classmates in terms of "Gee, you are a threateningly weird-ass geek, but, damn, you're our threateningly weird-ass geek." We need for non-conformists -- that means you and me, dude -- to be raised to be just as tolerant, and not to sneer at the conformists: "Gee, you are all cookie-cutter people, but, damn, you're fine cookie-cutter people."
It needs to be equally OK for people to be conformist or non-conformist or to move back and forth as they see fit. That's justice.
Re:this bothers me... (Score:4)
Just because someone doesn't look the same as you, or doesn't listen to the same music as you, does not mean they are out to cause problems. Perhaps a large percentage of the people you classify as "weird" cause problems, but I can promise you this: the clothing and music are not what makes them act that way.
Perhaps the "counterculture" brings a lot of trouble upon themselves. But all I see in that situation is a lack of acceptance from people in your school of the counterculture.
If I were you, I would try talking to some of these "different" people. They probably have a lot of interesting things to say. And don't forget, being a geek is often counterculture.
Jon Katz (Score:3)
Rebel against conformity (Score:3)
The fact is that we all want to belong. It is a built in drive. Belonging = comfort and esteem. What's not to like? The problem is that how do you define the criteria for who belongs and who doesn't? Race? Religion? Fashion-sense?
I find most single-issue groups dull. Stoners, Jocks, GearHeads, English majors... they all require you to "earn" your way into their specialized dialects and customs. Geeks are no different. "Conform or be cast out" to quote Geddy Lee.
Conformity is a sin against your human spirit. It may be more convenient in the short term, but it will lead you to a life of regret and self-doubt. I think the nastiest people are the ones who are the least secure in their place.
One example is the girl who executed (the only word that applies) Rena Virk in Victoria, British Columbia. She had to make a reputation for herself as a bad-assed bitch, so she ended up holding a "loser" under water with her foot while she smoked a cigarette. This is merely a logical extension of the trend: make your rep on the backs of the outcasts, so make sure there are plenty of outcasts to choose from.
What we have to do is teach non-conformity to our children. Unfortunately, in America, as elsewhere, this is not going to happen, because nobody wants a generation of kids that think for themselves.
Nuff said.