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Review: Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones
from the get-this-party-started dept.
Much of the cast from Menace is back. Unfortunately none of the major actors manage to pull of a standout performance. Anakin is little improved from menace. I know he's supposed to be full of anger and angst, but mostly he just comes off as constipated and bitchy. Amidala seems to be taking a bit of a nap. Their romantic scenes together are the Jar Jar binks scenes of this movie: It just pauses the action, and the acting is so bad that the movie stalls until something interesting happened.
The rest of the cast is much better. Ewan McGregor has finally grabbed onto the role of Obi Wan. He's a bit preachy, but it works. Samuel L Jackson is the badass Jedi we want him to be. Senator Palpatine is pretty much the same guy as last time around. And Dooku, the flick's major bad guy is pretty excellent too. Its nice having villians with faces since they actually get to act a bit. The Fett family felt a little forced, but it was interesting.
Most notable this time around is the CGI characters. Episode I of course had Jar Jar, Watto, and many other CG chars, but Menace is literally crammed full of them. And the technology and animators have improved substantially since the last showing. No longer do they stick out like sore thumbs- now they merely stick out like a thumb with a little bit of a sliver. Yoda is of course the most important of the CG chars- everyone probably remembers the horrible animation on his one CG scene in Menance, but in Clones he is CG all the way. This is a huge deal since unlike most of the CG chars we've seen so far, this one works almost perfectly. There are a couple of shots where it doesn't seem quite right... but those are the exception, and not the rule.
What I'm saying is that CG characters have finally come into their own. In Menace, all I could think about is the fact that they were CG. The fact that they didn't looke quite right. This time around they are just part of the show. Another cast member delivering mediocre dialog. Ironically enough, several of the CG chars outshine their human counterparts.
The movie as a whole looks great. Many of the costumes look a lot more like Star Wars. From the clone army, to Amidala wearing a white costume for the last act, things just look like I would expect them to. We get to see some sets familiar from A New Hope as well as Menace, and that all really contributes to making the movie feel like a Star Wars flick. It also helps that the CG has continued to improve.
I'd also like to note that I didn't get to see it on the digital screen. I plan on seeing it digital in the next week or 2... I figured I'd see it at the local theater and make sure it didn't suck before I bothered driving to Southfield to see it in full digital splendor.
The rest of the review will focus a little more on plot. You've been warned. The story is of course largely a love story. There has been a threat on Amidala's life, and her old friends Anakin and Obi-Wan have been assigned by the Jedi Council to protect her. Investigating the asassination attempt leads Obi-Wan to a far away planet where he discovered a clone army being constructed, and a conspiracy to suppress information about it. Anakin and Amidala spend time together and get closer through a series of awkward pseudo romantic scenes where they both look like they would rather have been in different movies. Their utter lack of chemistry is almost amusing.
Obi-Wan gets into some smack, and so Anakin and Amidala go to rescue him, only to end up compounding the level of smack around for the good guys. Meanwhile the Senate does its thing and a major shift in power occurs. We learn who is responsible for the clone army, and what the plan for it is.
The last hour of Clones is the Payoff. A battle worthy of the original trilogy. I'm not going to go into it becuase that might spoil it, but let make the following points. First, we finally have enough light saber action. The massive jedi fight that we all knew these prequels could offer us. And my god was it ever worth the wait. But we also have Mace Windu kicking ass, and at long last, Yoda gets his chance to prove why he is so highly regarded.
The parallels to other movies in the SW Series, especially Empire Strikes Back are many. I'm avoiding mentioning them here, but I will say that the film tries to end on a dark note which is cool.
The packed theater that I saw this really seemed to feel the same way as me. A few awkward laughs during the romance scenes- even snickers during the sound-of-music picnic sequence. But when the final battles came around there were cheers around.
And that really sums it up. It took 3.5 hours of prequel film to get us to the payoff. For some it might not have been worth the wait... but for me, I'm just happy to finally to see most of what was promised delievered. And I'm reinvigorated towards Star Wars. If Episode III can pick up where II left off, III should finally be the Star Wars Prequel that we've been waiting for.
Jar Jar and Yoda (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Jar Jar and Yoda (Score:4, Funny)
If you saw it in the digital theater, they included the 'digital projection' only extended version.
What a tounge on that Jar-Jar. Natalie, look out.
Re:Jar Jar and Yoda (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, don't need to see any kind of digital extensions from Jar Jar...
Re:Jar Jar and Yoda (Score:5, Funny)
I really hope that's a joke.
Of course, clones are kinda like twins, aren't they...
"Queen Amidala, meet, Queen Amidala" then start with the bad music...
Re:Jar Jar and Yoda (Score:5, Funny)
>
> I really hope that's a joke.
> Of course, clones are kinda like twins, aren't they...
> "Queen Amidala, meet, Queen Amidala" then start with the bad music...
Hey, they did it in an episode of Star Trek:DS9 in the mirror universe where we got to see mirror-Kira make a pass at herself.
Now... two bi Natalie Portman clones. Hubba hubba! I could go for that, even without grits!
Spoiler Alert! (Score:5, Funny)
Had ChrisD written the article, he would have just come right out and made the headline, "Luke's dad, a.k.a. Darth Vader, kills the Emperor, then some Ewoks dance around"
Re:Vader is Luke's Father?!?!? (Score:4, Funny)
WARNING - HUGE SPOILER (Score:3, Funny)
Trainspotting II: AOTJ (Score:5, Funny)
Is this Trainspotting II: Attack of the Junkies?
Re:Trainspotting II: AOTJ (Score:5, Funny)
ALERT!!! IP Theft!!! (Score:5, Informative)
Complaint about the Yoda fight (Score:5, Interesting)
Parent stolen from Adequacy.org (Score:5, Informative)
I'm almost jealous (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Don't be. (Score:5, Insightful)
I say all this because Lucas insists that digital is the wave of the future -- digital "film" and digital "projection" -- and Lucas is clearly at the forefront of the movement. And that's fine. But until Lucas can deliver a single potent film -- shot digitally, edited digitally, and projected digitally -- he's actually hurting the "100% digital" movement.
I'm sure folks disagree -- and I'd be curious to hear counter-arguments -- but all this struck me when I was watching an interview with Lucas not long ago where he apparently wondered why Scorsese was building huge sets for his (Scorsese's) upcoming 'Gangs of New York' film in Rome. (Scorsese recreated turn of the century lower-Manhattan in, apparently, incredible detail -- right down to authentic leaded glass windows, glass bottles, you name it. Everything, interestingly enough, was created on Fellini's old studio outside of Rome.)
Lucas's point, as I understand it, was that Scorsese was wasting his time -- and Harvey Weinstein's money. Everything Scorsese was doing could be digitally created and the actors only had to show up in a studio lined with blue screens and simple foreground props. The background and atmosphere could be digitally created. Scorsese -- to his credit -- said no way, this is the way films have been done in the past, this is the way I want to make films.
Now, perhaps it's really Scorsese that's potentially on the losing end -- because he's *still* doing it the way it was always done. But I'm not so sure about that.
I understand what Lucas is saying -- and I understand what he means -- but with the exception, perhaps, of some truly original stuff in the Matrix (which, of course, had a fantastic story), I'm not convinced that 100% digital is convincing anyone yet. It'll make pretty pictures, sure, but good stories are still needed, too, and Lucas -- despite esentially an endless supply of cash -- hasn't done it. Didn't do it with Phantom Menance and (from what I hear) hasn't done it with Attack of the Clones.
Anyway, I don't mean this as a flame. I'm just curious what other folks think about this -- the idea that if Lucas is at the forefront of all this, he's really got to be the one that proves. Otherwise it'll get there eventually, sure, but not with the speed that Lucas (and other folks) hope.
Australia (Score:4, Funny)
otherwise,great
Same problem in Star Trek: TNG (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Questions (Score:5, Informative)
Lines you won't hear Mace say... (Score:5, Funny)
It is called "the TOP 10 Things [netscrap.com] We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson's Character 'Jedi Master Mace Windu' Say in the Star Wars Prequels."
An example is, "Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, 'Bad MotherF***er.'" :)
Mixed reviews (Score:5, Informative)
Roger Ebert ripped it a new asshole [suntimes.com], saying that the characters talk "more like lawyers than the heroes of a romantic fantasy."
Other reviews, however, were very positive (FilmThreat.com [filmthreat.com] had a cool review here [filmthreat.com] and here [filmthreat.com].
If you've got the time, look at the smorgasbord of reviews [mrqe.com] on www.mrqe.com.
Re:Spoiler...? Jar Jar dooms us all! (Score:5, Funny)
i could see it coming, then he was just so smug with himself when he got the senate to go along with it...it's his fault...he gave palpatine full power...first he ruined Ep I, now the galaxy...
Between the fans at Big Newport (Score:5, Interesting)
I had almost forgotten what Star Wars could be like.
But the first flight of fancy in the buildings of Courissant (sp?) - i was hooked!
I'm sorry - but this was almost the best of the movies to date - just below Empire, of course..
It FELT like a Star Wars movie again.. when you were first taken to strange new worlds (sorry) and got to see aliens and battles.. villians who's asses you want to see kicked...
this movies has it all back.
I think one of the best things that Lucas has done with this one is the fact that there are actual twists and turns!
I mean, is the good-guy a bad-guy? Are the good guys fighting against the wrong person? The Good Guys fighting along side StormTroopers!?!
I won't give spoilers - but I will say that this movie does bring back everything I loved about seeing the first movie when i was 5 with my dad at Big Newport (70mm of holy-crap-its-so-freaking-big screen)... and maybe part of why I loved it so much WAS getting to see this one - opening night - in the same theatre...
i could be misguided.. but i'll be seeing this movie time and time again... just like the original 3.
My Thoughts (No Spoilers) (Score:5, Interesting)
some things to look forward to if you haven't seen it yet...
- Yoda's climactic fight scene...everyone has heard it's coming, but you can't be prepared to see Yoda in a lightsaber duel...the crowd in my theatre was literally cheering the whole time, at how cool it was...
- Mace Windu also has some quality Lightsaber action, and some pretty bad-*ss scenes...only thing that would've made it better was if his lightsaber said "Bad A** Mother F*****" (Pulp Fiction Reference)...
- Hayden Christenson is a huge improvement over Jake Loyd as Anakin (then again it would be hard not to be)...he's brilliant in the scenes where he has to show flashes of evil and flashes of the dark side...
- From the trailers, i thought that the romantic part of the movie was gonna be super cheesy, but it's actually not as bad as i expected...though, there is one point when they're in that big field on a picnic, when it looks like a scene out of "Sound of Music"...
- The worst part (IMO) was Lucas' attempts at some uneeded humor (much like Jar-Jar in Ep I)...in Ep II he uses C3P0 and R2D2 to deliver this humor both physically (in a ridiculous sequence with C3P0) and also in a series of bad puns involving the two of them...
- Natalie Portman looks great in the movie...and if you've seen the trailers, you know the tight white top that she wears...well, let's just say, that it must be cold on Tatooine...
well, that's my thoughts...
Re:My Thoughts (No Spoilers) (Score:5, Informative)
Why the stormtroopers suck in OT... (spoilers) (Score:4, Funny)
The clones were of Jango Fett, and the Kaminoans were keeping him around while this whole cloning project was going on. So apparently they needed fresh material from him to keep making clones.
After ATOC, they no longer have Jango Fett to clone, they started making clones of one of the clones. And you know how if you make a copy of a copy, it's not as sharp as the original....
See the movie Multiplicity to get a better idea of why the Stormtroopers are the way they are....
Re:Reviews are in (Score:5, Funny)
There have been a lot of posts lately like this, which generally say, "Oh! I didn't know /. was supposed to like the MPAA today." Here's a handy little guide for future reference.
First, the general rule is: We like the MPAA on Tuesdays and Fridays. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule, but this is a good basic reminder. Sometimes, like near a holiday weekend, we like the MPAA on a Thursday. Also, if the MPAA has generated a lot of hype, we'll like them on a Thursday (this is more likely during summer months). One time, the MPAA generated so much hype, we liked them on a Wednesday. But Fridays are a safe bet.
Then, once we stop liking the MPAA, they shift gears and let us own a piece of hype, instead of merely look at it. This almost always happens on a Tuesday (check out your local video store if you don't believe me). Once, there was a very scary piece of hype (though some said it made them sea-sick, and was just plain stupid) that the MPAA let us own on a different day of the week (just in time for Halloween).
I hope this clears things up.
Re:Reviews are in (Score:5, Insightful)
Except: Lucasfilm isn't affiliated to the MPA or the MPAA.
The next episode (Score:5, Funny)
I would have liked to be at Skywalker Ranch (Score:5, Funny)
Cue: ringing phone
"Hello? Yes. Are you sure? Yes sir."
% rm -f /data/episodeii/ohDearGod/insync*.mov
The reviews from rest of world seem more upbeat, check out the force dot net [theforce.net]. I'll see it tomorrow, thanks to the girlfriend for picking up seats for the DLP viewing. Go digital.
lone gunman, vt (Score:5, Funny)
Re:size counts (Score:4, Informative)
I wouldn't be at all suprised if some theaters are bending the rules a bit and going well over the lucasfilm rules about multi-screen projections to 4 or more screens from a single print.
Lone Gunmen the thing (Score:3, Funny)
lone gunmen (lon' gun'men)
verb
1. To prematurely reveal plot points.
2. To spoil the surprise, reveal spoilers without warning."I'll try not to lone gunman the thing."
3. To include spoilers in the headline.
insert photo of chrisd here
Episode 7 in the works? (Score:5, Interesting)
Also, there's an interview with Lucas here [guardian.co.uk].
I'm glad Christopher Lee is working (Score:5, Funny)
His performances in this film and as Suruman (in LOTR) have inspired me so much that I'm going to go out and do terrible things to many, many innocent people, because when it comes down to it, good is weak, and evil is strong.
At first, I thought playing a semi-sympathetic misguided villain might be a stretch for Christopher, but he's just so delightfully vile it doesn't matter. His stage presence makes the appeal of the Dark Side all to clear.
Review of the Review (Score:5, Funny)
I really don't feel the review was that bad. If you ignore every misspelling, and the occasional attempt at the 10 dollar word there's a really good review in there. I read this hoping to get an increased desire to see the movie this Friday, support that going wouldn't be a waste of time and he mostly has give me that.
Much of the same blah de blah is back. Unfortunately none of the 10 dollar words really seem to stand out.
Most notable this time is how notable he though the CGI characters were. With the occasional reference to Menance and a couple times where I wasn't sure if he was talking about Episode I or II I found some of the information curious and some that just didn't make sense but those are the exception, not the rule.
The review as a whole seems to work great. Many of the paragraphs bleed into one another where you can follow a coherent thought and altogether it wasn't too bad. I hope his reviews continue to improve
I'd like to note that I didn't get to see it on my nice 17" monitor at home. I plan on seeing it there after 5:00 but I wanted to make sure this review didn't suck before I thought of maybe using my Lunch break to drive home to read it there.
The rest of this review of the review would focus on the Grammatical and spelling insights, but was I found none I won't digress into that. A couple sentences were so awkward that they seemed like they would rather have been in different reviews. Their utter lack of chemistry is almost amusing.
As usual, with the posts CmdrTaco gets some smack, and so other posts go to rescue him, only to end up compounding the level of smack around for other
The last paragraph of this review is the Payoff. Several sentences that actually make sense together but I'm not going to go into it because that might spoil the shock of it, but let make the following points. First, we finally have enough correct spelling of words in one place. The massive amounts of coherent thoughts we all knew these reviews could offer us. I don't know if it was worth the wait but it's nice to see
The packed posts that I saw seemed to feel the same way as me. A few awkward FUNNY +3 even the occasion INSIGHTFUL +5 here and there.
That really sums it up. It took 11.75 paragraphs of text to get us to the payoff. For some it might not have been worth the wait... but for me, I'm just happy to finally to see most of what was promised delivered. And I'm reinvigorated towards CmdrTaco. If Episode III's review can pick up where II left off, it should finally be the Star Wars Prequel review that we've been waiting for.
Re:Review of the Review (Score:5, Funny)
(from what I hear, it's rife with misspellings...)
Vader and Palpatine as good guys? (Score:5, Interesting)
quick note on dlp (Score:5, Interesting)
I got the big privilege to see it this morning in DLP here in Cleveland. The digital system is not exactly earth shattering, but it is impressive (and I don't think I would even try going to see it on regular film.) There are no specks in the screen, and colors are indeed super bright (though the light sabers don't seem any more brillaint than they would be otherwise. I was disappointed by that.) Roger Ebert said that it looked disappointing on regular film, and I could how that would be , though I can't explain why.
One thing that bugged me is that, and I dunno if this was the result of dlp, or it just happened that way, i could see that some of the scenes were not of tremendous quality. Standing in Palantine's office, you could see the entrance way (a door or two and a little room leading to his office) is computer generated, and lacks depth. Also, when Amidala is in the factory and stuck in a molten core barrel, you could sense how it was done in a studio--it lost the factory's touch.
On an incidental note, I was a bit more touched by the romantic scenes, I'm just that type of person--I think the average
What? No Jon Katz review? (Score:4, Funny)
We want to understand about the socio-economic relationships clones introduce when confronted to droids, and the threat such a relationship is towards the current Guild commercial ventures and business models!!!!
Must have sucked... (Score:3, Insightful)
I could care less (Score:3, Insightful)
We shouldn't have to wait until the fucking second or third episode to start with.
Thank You, George (Score:3, Interesting)
For Phantom Menace, I attended just because I'd seen the other three. Of course, I was disappointed. Last night, I went to see Clones, KNOWING that it was going to be trash.
Happily, for the very first time, I was wrong. Lucas finally presented to me a world that I had never seen before. Sometimes the CGI was disappointing, but only occasionally and never to the point of distraction. It was fast-paced, but still contained enough of a story to hold my interest. The eye candy was fantastic. Almost every alien and every craft and every city was amazing.
Omit the Anakin masturbation scene, and the Sound of Music scene, and much of the dialogue between our two young lovers (no chemistry, and that is hard to imagine considering that Natalie is HOT and a capable actor), and the movie was the second best I've seen this year (Brotherwood of the Wolf being the first).
Of course, I was disturbed that Natalie's character simpers so often, and, even after Anakin reveals that he is a mass murderer of women and chidren, she still marries him.
Still, I enjoyed it more than anything I've seen Lucas direct since American Graffiti or THX 1138.
Thank you, George.
Clones Delivers (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm going to wander a bit, but I think there's an important point that people are missing. People miss the context of these movies and Lucas has put a very subversive political statement in them- both in how they are made and in the story they tell.
I never quite understood the complaints from the Star Wars "fans" about Phantom Menace. It seems there's a lot of people who wanted A New Hope remade and hated tht Lucas released a movie with a different story! Jar Jar was the lightning rod for this.
But PM was a summer bubble gum movie, JUST LIKE Star Wars originally was.
Lucas has stayed true to his vision with this movie, as we move towards the period in which ANH takes place we can see how we got from PM to ANH.
This movie, shot digitally, and shown digitally, really rocks. It is a compelling argument for digital theater. Its unfortunate that the reviewer is reviewing the movie not as it was meant to be seen-- but film isn't the only issue here. When ships rumbled this morning I felt it in my legs. (Cinerama in Seattle, best theater I've ever been in.) The image was pristine the sound system THX and turned up.
The other is that this is not a Tom Clancy story. This is not a Wim Wenders story. This is not a typical movie saga-- this is Space Opera.
A lot of "fans" seem to have forgotten this. This isn't The Matrix-- they are different categories of movies. Unfortunately, there is so little Science Fiction that all Science Fiction is perceived to be the same genre.
I freely admit that I prefer the style of story and dialogue of Blade Runner and the Matrix over Star Wars-- but Lucas's does his job so well that I have to give his movies the higher marks.
Lucas is telling a Galactic sized story, and only has 270 minutes to do it in. That means each scene must convey a lot of information, and the result is tortured dialog... and even then it feels like there's a whole lot that we don't get to see.
I respect this ambition, and I accept that it means that finding a cast that can convey it is going to be difficult-- especially given the financial, and political constraints on Lucas. Remember, these movies are made outside the hollywood system and without union crews-- and I applaud that. Its the ONLY way to tell the story you want to tell.
Many "fans" seem to forget who the audience for these movies is. It isn't 35 year old computer geeks. Otherwise they wouldn't be popular. The audience is middle america who wants entertainment. And Lucas, consistently, delivers what they want.
That's why we have Jar Jar - kids love him. That's why we have a love story in this movie. (Not to mention it would be hard to conceive Luke and Leia without some love story somewhere.)
And the reason he "compromises" in this way is not just to get the big box office, but to serve his larger, ultimate goal. Notice how much politics there are in these films? There's a really subversive message. One that Marx made (before jumping to foolish conclusions) and most americans ignore, but is extremely poignant these days:
When given the chance, people will trade liberty for security.
Ben Franklin brought this up a long time ago, in a country far far away, and Lucas is making the point again, but a bit too subtly for most people to pick up on it.
Do you trade democracy for the perceived security of a clone army? Regular inspections at airports? Do you concede your inalienable right to self defense and rely on the Jedi? Notice that Amadala is a pretty self sufficient person when the going gets tough.
And when you do, ultimately, as all democracies seem want to do, trade liberty for perceived security, you get neither-- you get an empire.
As we react to being attacked by "seperatists" with increased government control over our lives, we move in the direction of the dark side- of fascism- does it need to be pointed out how similar the empire's soldiers in the first three movies looked like our Nazis? The fixation with Nazis shown in the indiana jones movies?
They do make great villains, especially visually. but there's a lot more going on here.
Hitler was freely elected in Germany. A chancellor, or senator, he was. Germans, after the defeat and Trade Federations imposition at the treaty of versailles, wanted a strong leader. One who would raise an army despite the prohibitions. Hitler was that leader. He raised an army of genetically pure "clones" with rigid behavioral conformity and turned the country into an empire.
Nobody thinks it could happen here, but difficult to see, the dark side is.
BitGeek
Four words (Score:4, Funny)
(Spoilers) The parts that really bothered me... (Score:3, Interesting)
The most implausible scene however was Shmi's death. She was holding out in captivity for a month waiting for a rescue she never knew would arrive. Yet after surviving for that long she then just magically dies a minute or two after Anakin rescues her. The timing of that is beyond coincidental.
A more plausible, and perhaps more fitting, scenario would have been for Anakin to try and carry her out of the camp, only to have a signle Tusken Raider catch them and shoot her.
For added dramatic emphasis, Anakin could reach out with the force in a moment of rage and strangle the Tusken, causing the trademarked cluthing of the throat and falling to the floor. Having quietly dispatched the opponent, Anakin could then have a few minutes for his mom to give him her dying speach before he goes on his rampage and kills everyone.
Along with showing more clearly his fall to the dark side, it would also make his failure to rescue her more pronounced.
(And on a sidenote, where are all the Jedi? If 10,000 systens is only minority of the Republic, there must be at least 100,000 systems. At a billion people each(?) that would be a population of 100 trillion. Yet there are only a hundred or so fully trained Jedi?)
Back to the Future part II (Score:3, Interesting)
My criticism of these movies lies only with their success... please let me explain:
PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING TOO MUCH, and YES, this has been said before, so again, let me explain:
Star War Episode IV was the first Star Wars that was released for a reason! Give or take a few details (OK, maybe more than a few), the overall story was already formed before shooting of the original Star Wars began. But just like Back to the Future, the total concept for the plot and the characters and their adventures and the ultimate finale simply couln't fit into one movie -- this is why there was a Back to the Future I, II and III, and this is why we are still waiting for more Star Wars. So why was Episode IV released first, and why was it so much more positively received by the critics?
Episode IV was a success because of one simple fact: it had clearly defined "good guys" and "bad guys". The Empire was already formed, and it was bad. Darth Vader was bad. Luke was good. Leia was good. Obi Wan (Ben) was good. Simple.
But even still, there were hints at a greater scheme -- there was a history, there was an anxiousness at the end that made people wonder "whats next"? Well, with these "prequels" we already know "what is next" (in the long term anyhow), and although we in the audience really know who is "bad", it isn't really clearly defined. This is a much more subtle arena -- the title of Episode I was very appropriate, and for that reason (and yes, of course, even PeTA members would like to kill Jar Jar) it was highly criticized. I think Episode II answers a lot of questions, and given the enormous story that Lucas is trying to tell, I commend him for his efforts -- this has all the heart of the originals despite not having a cowboys vs. indians black and white story from the get go. We all knew there was a back story, and it amazes me that some critics have the nerve to complain that the material isn't "fresh".
I have read reports (Rex Reed, for example) that claim this is a boring movie. Get off the Vicodin -- this has more explosions, fight sequences, chase scenes, thrills and surprises than any other action movie I can think of. Sure it has its flaws (read: "love" scenes), but the movie's greatest flaw is that it is the latest in a series of wonderful movies -- I can't think of an easier and more obvious target for a mainstream critic.
Dooku and Anakin (Score:3, Interesting)
I though the romantic scenes were a little sappy (but I always do, seen too many Hindi movies). But, they are much better the second time around, and you catch a few more nuances (they're there). I wanted to see whether they would be as embarassing the next time around, and they really weren't.
I could hear Lucas in the director's chair saying:
- Natalie, you're still thinking, is this the little 10 year old from Tatooine.
- Natalie, you're tocuhed by his declaration, but wiggle your shoulders a little more, and edge away from him on the sofa.
- Hayden, you're willing to tell her *anything* to her, you're 20 years old and you've been a monk for the past 10.
- Hayden, keep staring at her, you know she likes it.
None of the actors have the presence of Alec Guinness, Harrison Ford, or James Earl Jones' voice. Ian McDiarmid (Palpatine) and Christopher Lee (Dooku) probably come closest.
Aargh! (Score:3, Interesting)
David Weber and Lois McMaster Bujold write far better space opera. Lucas should outsource the plot and concentrate on what he's good at: effects and production.
A female geek's outlook on AOTC - clothes spoilers (Score:3, Insightful)
George Lucas has set movie heroines back at least 50 years with the use of Natalie Portman in AOTC.
I know I know...you all think she's a hottie what with her exposed back in the infamous perilously draped bedsheet as dress number on the terrace scene, or the strapless black pleather dominatrix wannabe getup in the hokey fireplace festivities scene or even the white longjohns in the colliseum battle scene...once they've been conveniently slashed to reveal her tummy.
Take it from a real woman - Nat's a "nottie"
Meta-Quote "There are no jiggling breasts in space". --Carrie Fisher in 'Skywalking' quoting George Lucas's reason for mercilessly taping her breasts flat to her body for the filming of ANH.
Every second Little Miss 'I better use my only 2 talents 'cause I sure as hell can't act worth a crap' was on screen I secretly longed for Leia to swoop in and bitch slap the dumb blonde conveniently disguised as a brunette Amidala (I'm supposed to believe she's Leia's *mother*?!?! I don't think so...). Assassins kept trying to kill Amidala through out AOTC and what does she do? Change outfits, usually to something that would even have Joe Pesci's Vinnie saying a la My Cousin Vinnie 'Oh yeah Padme, you blend...not!' Here's a fashion tip: A shiny silver cape on a desert planet is about as subtle as Jennifer Lopez's Grammy Awards bathrobe in a mosque filled with Shiite Muslim clerics - nothing like the impractical outfit to remind the killers just where their target is at all times (see Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom).
Leia Organa was and in my mind still is the only regal female character, a real Star Wars fan's princess. That Padme's now only a Senator says something (apparently even a pair of perky ones doesn't translate to a lifetime guarantee to a crown). And while we're on the subject of breasts, Carrie Fisher had to go through two and a half full movies before she was ever allowed to show a little skin and she still hooked up with Harrison Ford, Even fully clothed that relationship was damned sexy! Watching Padme half-naked and forced to keep saying 'no we really shouldn't Ani' while making cow eyes at him was beyond stupid and painful and sends the not so subtle message that George has forgotten what makes for a real heroine - the ability of a woman to stand up for herself and kick a little ass whether she's taped and covered in a white shroud and has her hair done up in to ear-covering danishes or whether she's chained half-naked to a morbidly obese slime slobbering lounge lizard.
While Leia would shove a Wookie into a stinking trash compactor to get away from imminent danger, Padme can't figure out how to crawl out of a big bucket. Where Leia would give Han Solo shit about being a money grubbing mercenary jerk, Amidala can't even convincingly defend her own politics to an escaped boy band look alike who is a cross between Wesley Crusher and any dreaded Mary Sue from any fanfic cannon you'd care to name.
And let's get to Amidala's taste in uh sullen teenagers. Hayden is certainly no James Earl Jones, he's not a Harrison, heck he's not even up to Hamill on Mark's worst day. Hayden has exactly two facial expressions: drool and pout and most of the time he doesn't know which one he should don. This poor little boy's character is saddled with the great task of becoming the menacing Darth-freaking-Vader and anytime he does something vaguely unsettling (like say committing small scale genocide to avenge a plot device...I mean his mother's death) our heroine's first instinct is to give him a cuddle?!?! Besides Anakin being ten years younger, a thousand times less smooth than the geekiest geek you can imagine, and a future mass murderer Padme all of a sudden finds Ani peachy keen and hints that she'll put out for him if he'll fight by her side when it looks like they're both going to be executed. Gag me with a lightsaber already! Or better yet Harrison appearing as Indiana with a big black revolver and shooting the creepy lovers the way he did with the big sabre wielding dude in 'Raiders' would have made me respect George Lucas again.
And there lies the crux of the problem: by using Padme/Natalie as the female protagonist in this first trilogy old Papa Skywalker Ranch is really saying he doesn't give a rat's patootie about his female characters other than as fashion accessories and plot devices. I'd like for Georgie Porgie to remember that the women in his audience young and old are all smarter than those Kenner action figures he's gonna retire on. It's sad that he's dumbed down his plots so that kids won't see too much death and bad stuff (ie why the Dark Side of the Force has been stripped from this first trilogy) but it's unforgiveable that Padme doesn't stand up for herself until very late in AOTC. The message this first trilogy sends to women and young girls is that we're not a factor in a major political and spiritual revolution except as a fetus factories and eye candy and for someone as smart as Lucas it's unforgiveable. He had better give Padme some honorary cojones for Episode III or he's gonna lose his female audience (you know the future mothers and grandmothers and ticket buyers for the generation of little urchins to whom the third Star Wars trilogy will be marketed) and lord knows he can't conquer the box offices or the Dark Side without us.
Besides every geek knows that smart is infinitely sexier than skin
Re:Here's your review (Score:5, Funny)
"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured."
It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest symbol of the Empire's might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember and pay tribute to the victims and their families.
"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other galaxies. We were wrong."
"I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. "Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."
Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels.
In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. "We're not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman. "There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we've delivered powerful blow to the terrorist's infrastructure, that's for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back."
Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as "Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."
It's believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes, achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wankanobi lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during times of duress.
The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire's destruction of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists. Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible cost."
The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities among the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping force until a provisional government is finally in place.
Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their lack of a central organizing structure. "They don't play by the traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy the Empire before it destroys them."
The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then added with determination, "We will never forget."
"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But it's hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side."