Family Tech Support 860
This computer, from "Zeos", I think, had a catchy name which I've forgotten, and was marketed as an all-in-one, "zippetty-doo-da" fast, productivity-increasing, feature-packed system, from a company who'll be there tomorrow. It was, like most computers you'd buy for your mom, immediately obsolete, but great for email. It was also great for playing computerized bridge and pinochle which is as far as my mother wants to go in computer gaming. For a couple years this Pentium 75 zippety-doo-dahed along quite happily, raising my mother's productivity considerably before trying to retire early, by pretending its motherboard was fried. Unable to convince it otherwise, I buried the "fried" motherboard unceremoniously at the curb and replaced it with one scavenged from a derelict PC carcass which was camped in my office.
This "new" PC was even faster than the previous, which made it about as current as writing email on parchment with an ostrich feather dipped in India Ink, but bought me another year of not buying a new system. That was a little over a year ago. A few months ago, that computer died too. So, a new computer was ordered, with a place to plug a complete modern life right into the back. USB ports, Serial ports, Modem Ports, Mouse ports, Ethernet, Fishnet, Parallel ports, Perpendicular ports, car ports, Video out, Video back in, and PDA handheld-infrared-ultraviolet-see-in-the-dark-intradimensional wireless toaster ports, pipe anything and everything into a tiny beige box. This box is great for email, and for playing computer bridge and pinochle.
For a month, my mother became really productive (mom's productivity is measured in forwarded joke emails), and then, abruptly, stopped being productive at all. Concerned about the uncharacteristically empty "Mother" folder in Outlook Express (a subfolder of "Deleted Items"), I sent several emails which went unanswered. It occurred to me that she might have been sucked into some port on the back of the computer and was deadlocked in a virtual game of computerized cribbage with either Keanu Reeves or a rogue supercomputer from IBM, but I didn't follow up on this. The next time I heard from her was on my answering machine - "You can cancel my internet access, I've packed up the computer and put it in the closet. Bye."
My mother's messages often sound like epitaphs, but this sounded particularly dire. I knew that either Keanu had beaten her in cribbage or her computer had died. Despite being totally generic, the new computer was still new and still under warranty, a warranty that the computer gnomes in her closet were unlikely to honor, but which my local computer supplier probably would. I took drastic measures and called her. A frustrated woman answered, close to tears "Well, it stopped getting email two months ago and then one day I turned it on and no picture showed up and I didn't want to bother you because 'You're so busy' and I know it's my fault and..."
She was not particularly helpful in troubleshooting the problem. Furthermore, the computer's condition of being unplugged in a dark closet made successful diagnostics so grim a prospect that I patiently explained the whole "gnome-warranty" thing to her and asked that she send it back to me. Swayed by my logic, she agreed, and several days later a package arrived from her.
Understandably excited by the prospect of fixing a computer I bought because it wouldn't need much fixing, I tore open the package to reveal one unremarkable, heavily over-insured surge suppressor. Remember the surge suppressor? Confusion descended. I felt as though I'd ordered a latte and been handed a stapler. Was it the words I'd used? Did the gnome story scare her? Did I say "Please just send me any object and I'll use it to fix your computer from a thousand miles away." Again, I took emergency measures and called her. I pretended that I hadn't opened the box in case it was an early Christmas present. "Please tell me this is an early Christmas present" I said. "No, it's that damned computer" was the reply that I both feared and got. Because this surge suppressor is about as mistakable for a computer as an old leather boot, I had two painful options; one of making my mother feel like a total boob, and the other of configuring an email client on a mid 90s surge suppressor. Boob it would be. I said, as delicately as possible "Mother, this isn't a computer, it's an old boot!"
On my desk now sits the multi-port roadster of a computer that arrived today from Florida. Sure enough, there's the bridge and pinochle CD still in the drive and, sure enough, it doesn't work. I suspect that the huge dent in the case, indicating some sort of collision, trauma, impact, stampede or other violence might have something to do with that. Maybe the tech gnomes took a whack at it. Whatever. She's my mother. I love her. I'll just fix it.
Stuff that matters... really?? (Score:0, Informative)
myself I got a package from my grandma from Arizona today!
Group sigh of "been there" - for everyone. (Score:3, Informative)
I got smart about 4 years ago, after building and repairing (and being responsible for) about a half a dozen various models of pc for them.
I bought them a 800 number.
We all know a compaq and a dell and a gateway and a sony are all the same pentium chip, variations on a theme behind a mitsui cd-rom, sygate/quantum HD, etc etc etc. It's the tech support and the flashy brand name plastic case you buy. So buying one of these machines for a vastly overpriced sum is merely the cost of peace of mind when stamping in HUGE print on the top of the monitor a 800 support number for -anything- that they have questions about, and save those boxes kids, send it back to wherever if there's a problem for free.
Of course it doesn't reduce the flow of calls completely, (do I need to leave the cd in to play music once it's started?) but it cuts down on them significantly enough to make that 800 number worth any price.
If you think that's funny (Score:4, Informative)
iMac sovles dillemma (Score:1, Informative)
Get her a mac.
Re:PCAnywhere (Score:3, Informative)
Set up users without administrator access. hell, use empty passwords for the normal users accounts. Do use seperate users! Setup an admin account that IS NOT administrator, just incase they change the administrator password on you and forget it.
Now, explain to them how to use the admin accoun. Use it to install and update your system only. Do not use it to do work. If you use the admin account, you should be able to tell me exactly what you did under that account so that I have an idea what went wrong with your computer when you do call me.
That is the only way I've been able to deal with my parents and windows.
Re:PCAnywhere (Score:2, Informative)
Tight VNC [tightvnc.com]
Open SSH for Windows [networksimplicity.com]
Re:Lack of Equipent (Score:2, Informative)
Of course I take the opportunity to load my friends with free software if they want it (Office, Gimp, Audacity, Mozilla etc)
Re:Tech support for your family?? (Score:2, Informative)
Create a bootable CD that when placed in the drive reimages it to what it originally was when you gave it to them. To make it easier, setup their computer's ISP and such and then make the image.
Sure they lose files; however, it's what most computer companies make you do. You could always move My Docs, Favs, etc to another partition that doesn't get overwritten if you really care.
Re:Lack of Equipent (Score:2, Informative)
I will say, I solve Mac problems more easily in general, esp. OS X -- but that might be because I've been trouble shooting Macs for 15 years and NT4/2000 for only 3 years.
My 2cents...
I could be wrong, but... (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Preventative Measures (Score:2, Informative)
I'm personally a fan of this one [thinkgeek.com] since most people don't even know they're being insulted. Plus, you can quickly find the geeks in the room as they'll be the ones giving you an understanding grin...
Re:Lack of Equipent (Score:5, Informative)
The steps you should tell a family member are: goto tightvnc.org
Then you are connected to their computer and can fix any software problem in 1/50th the time of trying to solve it over the phone.
Don't fix things. Make them fix it. (Score:2, Informative)
The biggest mistake people make is that they simply fix a person's computer problem. The person remains completely clueless and uneducated.
Whenever a CU (clueless user) says they are thinking about buying a computer, tell them that they really don't want one. Tell them that a computer is kinda of like a car, only a thousand times worse. It requires daily maintenance, learning insanely complex technical details, frequent hardware breakdowns, and throwing heaps of money at it regularly. Spook the hell out of them. Only go down the route of actually helping them purchase a machine if they still demonstrate a consistent, committed desire to truly invest the time to learn and maintain a computer. Once they've been thoroughly spooked and they've gotten a computer, then you at least know they're willing to learn, and you can hold the lecture over their head if they start getting impatient or agitated over a problem later.
Then, whenever a problem does occur, don't fix it for them. Always refuse to assist with any computer problem over the phone -- it always has to be handled in person, with both of you in front of the offending machine. Don't drive the PC -- make them drive it. You can guide them through steps and teach things as you go through the fix together, but at each step of the way, you need to ask them to repeat things back to you so they can demonstrate actual understanding. No student driver ever learned by having the instructor drive the car for them while they watched.
This all takes painstaking patience. But if you stick to it, you'll find that the person will eventually become the "solve their own problems" type, capable and motivated enough to teach themselves, tinker on their own, and bail themselves out of trouble. Then you're off the hook. Unless the person is one of these morons incapable of learning, in which case you should probably just beat them senseless with an old Compaq "portable" lug-along.
Or, you can avoid all that and just never help anyone with their computer issues, ever, period. Personally, I consider computers a personal, individual matter. I take care of my own, and so should you, the end.
Know your family. (Score:4, Informative)
Also (and please excuse my cliched comment here), if you're setting up a computer for your grandma who just reads email and plays bridge, Linux may be a good option. It's not vulnerable to most of the malware/spyware/adware feces that slows so many computers down. Just do her a favor and don't spend three hours preaching to her about the virtues of open source. She just wants a computer she can use.
Re:Lack of Equipent (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Lack of Equipent (Score:3, Informative)
I switched my wife over to Linux in December, and she's been pretty happy with it. The transition was painless, I basically just had to show her how to log on, how to log me out if she needed to, and how to change her wallpaper. She's pretty happy about the stability, and even happier that I'm not reinstalling the OS every few months (and in the process losing all her old saved emails).
As an added bonus, since we're on a real multi-user OS, I can still experiment with stuff without affecting her in the slightest.
I also have a daughter, who will be 3 in 1.5 months, and Linux has been great for her, too. A common complaint I hear is that Linux doesn't support kids games very well. The common response is "use wine", which is probably reasonable since most kids games seem to run best on Win98, and have problems with Win2k and XP (if they run at all). I don't know how well that works, though, as I haven't tried it. There was no need after I discovered gcompris, which is a OSS collection of kids games. It blows almost every kids game I've seen away (the one exception is The Incredible Machine, but there's no reason the gcompris folks couldn't duplicate and improve on that as well).
Most "professional" kids game developers seem to concentrate on cute, barely animated graphics and insipid songs at the expense of the learning, the gcompris games are focused on learning and don't let the graphics get in the way (and no, the graphics don't suck, either).
For example, one of my daughter's Windows games was supposed to help teach basic computer skill, like moving the mouse pointer. The mouse pointer game was basically a picture covered up by a bunch of items (coins, candy, etc) which had to be removed, and gcompris has basically the same thing, just with a white on blue grid instead of items. Unfortunately, it would often simultaneously remove an item on a different part of the screen as well, and the items could be removed simply by hitting (or banging on) keys on the keyboard, which is exactly what my daughter did instead of using the mouse. When all of the items are removed it sings a stupid song about the animal in the picture and then repeats (with a different picture being covered up by different items). The gcompris version, OTOH, requires that you actually use the mouse, and that you acually move the pointer over every box. Once the picture, which is an actual photograph of an animal (all bears, but that could just be a SuSE thing), is uncovered, you get the gcompis smiley-face-flower-thing-with-audio-"WOOHOO!!" and it goes on to the next level, which is (gasp) actually harder (which means it has smaller boxes, requiring progressively greater precision).
My daughter got bored with both of them after about the same amount of time, but at least after the gcompis one she knew how to use a mouse!
If You Receive Such Support (Score:2, Informative)
1.Thank Them. Don't gush. Don't thank them more than twice for a single incident.
2.Feed Them. Most geeks like free food. In spite of the traditional pizza and soda jokes, they really like good home cooking or a nice restaurant. They usually do no indulge in such pleasantries.
3.Clean off your desk before they arrive. While they are gracious about the clutter, it probably frustrates them to some degree.
4.Gifts. You have to be careful with gifts for a geek. Collecting floppy disks and AOL CD's is a bad idea. Most geeks desire gifts that are fairly expensive and are too modest to ask for such a gift. Confront them and ask what they really want, but only if you are prepared to spend more than $100. Gift certificates for tech stores are good. Cash is king. Say something like "I cannot afford to pay you the full value of your services, but I wanted you to have this to know that your generosity is appreciated". It will go a very long way. Don't buy them a gadget unless you are sure of the exact model they want. It is not wrong to say to them "I want to buy you a [insert gift item]. Which one should I get?"
5.Cards. A thank you card sent via US Postal Service is good. Do not be offended if they do not keep them very long.
6.Be patient and gracious. They see things differently than you - that is why you called them.
7.Keep you documents and CD's. Your favorite geek will probably tell you to keep your program CD's and some paperwork in a safe place. Just put everything in a single file folder and have it on the desk when they arrive. The tools they need to fix or upgrade your computer are in there.
8.Listen. When giving advice, they have your best interest at heart. Don't forget that you called them because you believe they know more than you about this. You don't have to understand everything they say. If you find something confusing or hard to remember, ask them to explain it again or write it down.
9.Ask questions. It is very difficult to understand what you want when you say something like "my icons are not right". Instead, rephrase it into a question like "how can I fix my icons?"
10.Storage. If you live withing a few blocks, offer them a corner of your basement or a closet for storage space. Many geeks live in apartments and could use some extra storage.
11.Gas. Offer to buy them a tank of gas for their trouble.
12.Old computer stuff. If you upgrade and don't plan on using your old computer or printer offer it to them. Frequently they will give the hardware to someone else who doesn't have one. You may have already been the recipient of such hardware or software and don't even know it.
13.Time. Respect their time. It is likely they are helping more people than just you. Use phrases like "is this a good time to call?", "what time works best for you?", "do you have time now?", "what do I need to have ready when you arrive?" It is easier to get support when the environment you create for them is pleasant to them.
14.Kids. Offer to babysit for them.
15.Internet. Offer to buy them broadband. Understand that this may be a perpetual expense or it could be for a limited time period - most service providers have term commitments.
Keep in mind that if you were to pay a company to send out an individual you would likely be paying $75 - $125 per hour plus trip charges. So, even if you are paying them a thank-you is still important.
Crucial settings in XP (Score:2, Informative)
Well, yes - and in my opinion, no. But XP can be fixed. (Or at least made backwards compatible for those of us who are used to the old style.)
First, change to the classic Start Menu:
To change to the "Classic" Start menu, right-click Start, and click Properties. Click the radio button in front of Classic Start menu, click Apply and OK. This will fix the Start menu to look the old skool style, and also fix the desktop to display My Computer, Network Neighborhood, etc. Why a Start Menu setting fixes the desktop I don't know.
Second, disable simple (crippled) file sharing:
Open Windows explorer. Go to Tools | Folder Options | View.
Scroll to the bottom of the list of advanced settings and un-check Use Simple File Sharing (Recommended).
Click OK. This will fix the OS so that you can see the permissions on each folder.
Those two things should go a long way. I also change the windows explorer to Explore mode by default (so much faster to see the whole tree), and show file extensions. These are more advanced settings, so perhaps only suggest them to more computer literate people. Still, at least you won't get: "this file doesn't work" and ask them what kind of file it is. They have no clue because the extensions are hidden. The problem being that truly clueless users will strip the extensions off when renaming, rendering a file useless until the extension is re-added.
Or maybe you should just ignore this post so that you don't have to repair a family members broken OS