As someone who's half-white, half-Asian (and looks predominantly Asian) I often hear questions like "where are you from? Like, where are your parents from?"
I'm not sure I see this as a 'micro-agression.' Or aggression at all, it's just a question. People ask me where my ancestors came from, and I tell them Scotland and Finland. No big deal. It's pretty clear I'm not native american.
Sometimes I also get asked where I grew up. I tell them. Nosy people. If you don't want people to be curious about details in your life, that's kind of anti-social.
The problem with the question is usually more along the lines of how it reinforces that you do not belong. When someone asks me where I am from, I usually say California. When they follow it up with the question, "Where are you really from?" then it becomes apparent that I do not look "American enough" to them. I don't really have a problem with this as the intentions of the person usually aren't bad, but it is irritating when the person (a small percent) changes their tone after hearing the answer.
The problem with the question is usually more along the lines of how it reinforces that you do not belong.
Only if you interpret it that way. A more accurate interpretation would be, "hi! I want to get to know you!" Then when someone responds in a prickly way, that reinforces the idea that they don't belong, if only by pushing other people away.
"Hi! I want to get to know you" is "what are your hobbies/where do you work/what music are you in to", not "To me you look different, so I'm going to assume you're not from 'round these parts, and enquire as to your specific ancestry, as my understanding of 'you' extends as far as your outward ethnicity". Knowing someone's ethnicity or family story is not knowing the person, but knowing their circumstances. So no, your "accurate interpretation" is not so accurate after all. If that's small-talk, it's the
"Hi! I want to get to know you" is "what are your hobbies/where do you work/what music are you in to", not "To me you look different, so I'm going to assume you're not from 'round these parts, and enquire as to your specific ancestry, as my understanding of 'you' extends as far as your outward ethnicity".
Where are your ancestors from? (Score:4, Insightful)
As someone who's half-white, half-Asian (and looks predominantly Asian) I often hear questions like "where are you from? Like, where are your parents from?"
I'm not sure I see this as a 'micro-agression.' Or aggression at all, it's just a question. People ask me where my ancestors came from, and I tell them Scotland and Finland. No big deal. It's pretty clear I'm not native american.
Sometimes I also get asked where I grew up. I tell them. Nosy people. If you don't want people to be curious about details in your life, that's kind of anti-social.
Re: (Score:0)
The problem with the question is usually more along the lines of how it reinforces that you do not belong.
When someone asks me where I am from, I usually say California. When they follow it up with the question, "Where are you really from?" then it becomes apparent that I do not look "American enough" to them. I don't really have a problem with this as the intentions of the person usually aren't bad, but it is irritating when the person (a small percent) changes their tone after hearing the answer.
Another q
Re: (Score:2)
The problem with the question is usually more along the lines of how it reinforces that you do not belong.
Only if you interpret it that way. A more accurate interpretation would be, "hi! I want to get to know you!" Then when someone responds in a prickly way, that reinforces the idea that they don't belong, if only by pushing other people away.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Where are your ancestors from? (Score:2)
"Hi! I want to get to know you" is "what are your hobbies/where do you work/what music are you in to", not "To me you look different, so I'm going to assume you're not from 'round these parts, and enquire as to your specific ancestry, as my understanding of 'you' extends as far as your outward ethnicity".
It's both.